Sometimes I don’t understand life’s little problems.
For example, I don’t understand why I like to eat my ice cream with a fork sometimes. I don’t understand why something as simple as cereal can be so darn delicious. And I really don’t understand why stores can’t just sell egg nog year round.
(Clearly, I’m writing hungry.)
But what really perplexes me is when people tweet things like this:
I found this when the year started, and (just to showcase my maturity) I took a screenshot of it just so I could show people how ridiculous it was. But after doing some research, I am changed. And I am here to tell you that this lady is right. Feminism killed chivalry. Sort of.
The idea of chivalry comes from the medieval chivalric code, which, not unlike the honor code, emphasized living a life of loyalty, generosity, and goodness, virtues that largely haven’t gone away. But one of the most interesting parts I learned about the chivalrous lifestyle was the idea of “courtly love”. Essentially, if a knight wanted to date a lady, he had to pull out all the stops. If he wanted to win her over, he had to do basically everything she said in order to prove that he deserved her. Moreover, he had to nobly accept that even his best efforts didn’t guarantee a relationship, but was still expected to respect her independence and personal choices.
Not only that, but femininity was regarded as a powerful, spiritual and moral force. Talk about girl power! So what happened?
It seems that throughout history and various cultures, there has always been a battle of the sexes. Women are higher than men. Men are higher than women. It’s a back and forth struggle. Because feminism is an idea that fuels equality for both sexes, the old-fashioned use of the term “chivalry” is relatively dead. Just to get all technical on you. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate getting the door opened for me every once in awhile. Just like guys probably really like when we girls make them cookies or whatever it is we girls do for our guys.
I think love isn’t strictly defined by what guys are supposed to do for girls or what girls are supposed to do for guys. When it comes down to love, both sides need to give their all in a relationship, or it’s doomed to fail. So I suggest that all of us, male and female, adapt the chivalrous lifestyle. Let’s just give each other our all.
4 comments:
My marriage and family teacher once said we need to be "genderful." We need to stop defining men with one set of qualities while the women have others. We should all be striving to be like Christ. Christ is sweet, gentle, kind, loving, tender, strong, powerful, bold, and good. Adapt all good qualities in yourself--not just the ones the world says we're limited to.
Thank you for your post! You are a great writer :) Also, where did you get that picture? It's beautiful!
In one respect, I think feminism has killed chivalry.
In an effort to be treated equally, many women have spurned *gentlemanly* behavior in an effort to show that "anything you can do, I can do better". And many men have taken it as their cue to stop trying.
A male friend once related that in high school, he hurried to a door in order to open it for a young woman. She did not appreciate it, and rudely declared, "I can open the door myself!" To which my friend responded, "I'm not opening the door for you because you are a lady, I'm opening it because I'm a gentleman." Which cracks me up, even though he shouldn't have said it. :)
My point is that we should encourage the ideals of feminism as well as encouraging men to magnify their priesthood. Watch any prophet with his wife and you will see a man who opens the door for his sweetheart. Not because she can't or won't. But because he is honoring a woman that he knows is a daughter of GOD.
LOVED this post, thanks so much for your insights and research! :)
Kelsi: I absolutely LOVE that comment! I will definitely have to save that one. Being Christlike is definitely the best quality any of us could ever strive for, regardless of gender! And the painting is "The Beautiful Lady Without Pity" by Sir Frank Dicksee...and the only reason I know that is because of google image search haha. :)
Tiff: Thanks for your comments! It's crazy that people can get all worked up when people do nice things for them! I love that the gospel teaches us to respect each other, and the General Authorities are AWESOME examples of treating their spouses with utmost love and respect. You're right, we should all be doing our parts to honor each other's callings as sons and daughters of God. :)
Grace: Thank you so much!! I've been loving your posts this semester, they are so uplifting and I just love them so much!! :)
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